Where do I start? ISWG post for April

This week's post is about getting back in the game. I thought I would start by first of all writing again, which is always a good place to start when you want to be a writer. Then I've been tossing around ideas such as children's books, a memoir (but our story is not finished yet), short stories to get established, and so on.

I had started to try a build a platform about my subject on facebook, twitter, and a blog but that was slow to get off the ground. An interesting thing started to happen too. I began to realize that although my topic, bullying, has been a top story in the news lately, most internet sites against bullying aren't very popular. I found a book in my local library by an author called Odd Girl Out, and looked up her website. The book hit the New York Times bestseller list but on facebook she only had 12K followers.

With my story and others that I began hearing through social media, I realized that society was prone to re-victimize the victims by placing blame on them vs. the bully. It was disheartening to say the least. I found even friends assuming when they heard our story sound sympathetic towards the bully, having come to the conclusion that she must be from an abusive home to act the way she did. The truth is- she came from an upper middle class, educated family that refused to believe her capable of such things, let alone take responsibility.

I've decided I do need to tell my story. Most people feel shame when their child is the target of bullying, but I am proud of my daughter. I taught her to be a kind, compassionate person. She's beautiful inside and out, and she's intelligent. She did nothing to provoke the bully, who had begun as a friend and turned into her worst nightmare. It's a story that parents and educators need to hear, and a story of hope as I will never give up on my girl. She will survive and succeed in recovery.

My daughter found a song on the internet called a Wanderer's Lullaby, which reduced me to a pile of tears. In part the lyrics say you are a "masterpiece in the making" and that is how I see her. I will do anything it takes to heal her and help her reach her potential.

New beginnings

I am beginning again with writing, building a platform, and starting over in my life in many ways. We, as a family, are coming out of one of the darkest times any of us has ever been through. My daughter was diagnosed with PTSD from being severely bullied while in elementary school, and I feel compelled to share our experiences with this deeply personal journey.

I've been tossing around ideas- like a memoir, children's books, YA books or novels. Just the ideas themselves are overwhelming.

Plus I am still dealing with a crisis at home, even though it is calming down now. Between work and home life the important thing is to WRITE. Especially while everything we are going through is fresh in my mind.

I will start to journal, and then figure out the next step from there.

In the meantime I've been reading- I have so many books going I lost track of how many. At least 3 are non-fiction on PTSD, and the rest are for entertainment. I have a pile more lying around that I haven't even started yet.

Happily, my life is getting back into a routine and feeling more stable, and that in itself is comforting. If only we could go through life like a cat, and just sleep 16 hours a day, groom ourselves, and eat.

Finding a platform

Hello fellow writers from the IWSG,

I'm back with a vengeance after a looong hiatus. This time I have a platform and a mission. While I've been gone my family has had a major crisis as a direct result of bullying.

I'll be honest- I almost lost my daughter.

I'm turning my rage, sadness, and grief into a channel for good. I'm on a journey and writing is the only outlet I have for everything I'm feeling and going through right now. I'm starting a new blog that you can find listed under my profile called Bully Intervention Central and I would love your support. My goal is to write a series of children's books to help reach those like my daughter who are too afraid to speak up and end the bullying.

Back to writing I go-

IWSG post

My first post after who knows how long with the IWSG! Glad to be back.

What am I insecure about? Where do I start. . .

I think I struggle most with why am I wasting my time. I could say that regardless of if I ever get published, or let's be honest, even land an agent, I write just for me. But the truth is, I do want to be successful as a writer. I had no idea when I started a few years ago that it would be so difficult.

My husband is supportive, but I have children, a job, a home to maintain. How do I justify spending hours writing, reading, or critiquing when there is no guaranteed payoff. I really don't want fame, or even fortune (although I wouldn't mind a little money). I guess I just want validation. The right to say I'm a writer.

I've sent off a few short stories. Rejection. I've entered a few writing contests in the blogosphere. Not even an honorable mention. I've had a few writers critique my work. Nicely worded but god-awful. I've tried giving up, but here I am again because I have a story I have to tell.

Don't worry. I'm not depressed. I have an amazing life in every other aspect, but I just want to write too! I see others get agents, get published, win awards, and while I'm happy for them- I wish it could be me.

Sigh.

Well, I'm off to visit some others. Have a great month! See you then :)

Monday post

Drifting in and out of the writing world as I do, everyone else seems to be incredibly productive. And then there's me. I make all kinds of goals, and then I follow that up with all kinds of excuses. Part of the problem is I'm addicted to time wasters like surfing the internet or watching mindless TV. I sit down to rest and instead of having quiet time, I turn on the TV or grab my computer and before I know it, the evening is gone. ARGH! Why do I do that?

My latest writing goal was to write a page a day. That was a couple of weeks ago and I have 3 pages.

How does anyone stay focused?

Then it's also summer break and the kids are home. Is it wrong to count the days for them to go back to school? I love them and all- just maybe not 24/7!!
(As I'm writing this my 7 year old is sharing a cat book with me- on my bed, in my room, at 9:57 p.m.)

Me, "I think it's time for you to go to bed."

Her, "Never!"

That's what's happening here in the sunshine state- how 'bout you?

I'm back!

I tried to stay away, but I couldn't. The story I had to tell has been churning inside and yes! at long last I'm back to writing.

This last year has been a lot of changes, but I've settled into my new home and new state, and I'm ready to move forward. But really, I'm also eager to get back out there and find out what all of you are doing now. Please stop in and catch me up!

Brief summary of where I am- I've just started hitting the keyboard to put down the story that's been evolving in my head. I've pretty much ditched the entire first novel I wrote, but I kept the essence of the characters because I liked them. I moved away from my writers' group in South Carolina but after the summer I will try to find a local chapter. I'm looking forward to that because I'm near a big city again and there seems to be a lot of support.

I'm looking forward to getting back into the online writers community because even though it was at times painful, I learned so much from you!

Looking forward to reading your blogs again!

Rose

Just Breathe

Just breathe.

That's something I need to remind myself to do once in awhile. I've been staying away from my blog because this year has been a bit overwhelming. Between a huge move, health issues, and a few big trips, I've had a lot going on.

Part of the problem is myself. I would describe myself as a chicken little, "the world's falling" kind. Add to the anxiety issues a type A perfectionist and yup! that's me. I don't know how to inspire myself to keep writing when it is seemingly impossible to break out into the book world. I don't even want huge success. I just want some acknowledgement, but I don't do well with failure and rejection. Yet that is part of the process.

At the end of the day- I still want to write. Maybe just for me, but I will write.

As a reader, I've been taking apart the books I read as a writer. I don't do it with books that make me forget I'm reading, the really good ones. But I find those good ones so few and far between. The current one I'm reading feels like the writer was watching a Tom Cruise Mission Impossible movie. I'm bored. I don't want to read it anymore but I kinda want to know how it ends, so I'm trudging through it.

The writer tells instead of shows, and repeats things often, making me feel like he thinks his readers are dumb. And he's a best-selling author.

I don't mind a good action story, or movie for that matter, but you have to make it plausible. I'm one of those who misses the pre-special effects era when you actually had to have a plot. Same with books.

Finally, I know I didn't write much about my trip to Ecuador to visit my in-laws, but we did go, and the trip was wonderful. We had a really good time and no one got the stomach bug, which made it even better! I'd like to go back every year but we are currently broke and I'm looking for a job, so I don't think it will happen this year.

Whew! That was a lot. Thanks for hanging in there!