My first post after who knows how long with the IWSG! Glad to be back.
What am I insecure about? Where do I start. . .
I think I struggle most with why am I wasting my time. I could say that regardless of if I ever get published, or let's be honest, even land an agent, I write just for me. But the truth is, I do want to be successful as a writer. I had no idea when I started a few years ago that it would be so difficult.
My husband is supportive, but I have children, a job, a home to maintain. How do I justify spending hours writing, reading, or critiquing when there is no guaranteed payoff. I really don't want fame, or even fortune (although I wouldn't mind a little money). I guess I just want validation. The right to say I'm a writer.
I've sent off a few short stories. Rejection. I've entered a few writing contests in the blogosphere. Not even an honorable mention. I've had a few writers critique my work. Nicely worded but god-awful. I've tried giving up, but here I am again because I have a story I have to tell.
Don't worry. I'm not depressed. I have an amazing life in every other aspect, but I just want to write too! I see others get agents, get published, win awards, and while I'm happy for them- I wish it could be me.
Sigh.
Well, I'm off to visit some others. Have a great month! See you then :)
Been there, done that. Oh, Rose, I understand, more than I can say. I think, no I believe it'll work out. If you're meant to be a writer, then you'll write regardless. I remember all those years ago when I would sit up late at night and write on a typewriter after the boys were asleep. Yup, 5 boys. And I worked at the post office afternoons. Don't ask me how I did it. I'm still not sure.
ReplyDelete5 boys! Okay, I can do this then :)
DeleteOf course, you can! I'm cheering for you, Rose.
DeleteGetting your work rejected is the first step towards getting it accepted. Keep the faith--- your work will not be in vain.
ReplyDeleteIt's just so hard to not take it personal! I'm not good at that in real life either :)
DeleteHang in there, Rose! Even writers who've gotten published still get rejected. I've been there with the harsh critiques and rejections, but with each book I write, I get better and the rejections get better too.
ReplyDeleteThis journey has taken way longer than I ever expected, but it's been worth it.
You're right, my writing has gotten better. All these words of encouragement were just what I needed. Thanks!
DeleteI totally feel ya. I don't know when or how I'm going to get published, or win awards, or get agented either, but it'll happen if it's meant to (Not to mention if we work our butts off). "Bad" writing comes before "good" writing, always, so never, ever give up!!
ReplyDeleteI'm getting my share of bad writing in!
DeleteJust like any other serious profession it just takes a long time to learn - keep going!
ReplyDeleteSooo true!
DeleteYou're so busy! When my children were younger and I worked full time I often felt I was just wearing myself out as I struggled to find writing time amid all the rejections. There's no ticking clock for finding success. Keep working at it and you'll find that success.
ReplyDeleteIt is a struggle. That's for sure! But good to know others managed it somehow too.
DeleteRose, I also feel like this from time to time. Actually lots of writers experience this, on and off, at some stage in their writerly journeys...
ReplyDeleteJust hang in there.
It's a long journey... for sure.
But you're not alone.
I love looking at my blog and seeing 13 comments in one day! That's why I'm back. Thanks for all your support Michelle :)
DeleteYou're welcome!
DeleteJust popping in to check that you're okay, Rose! *waving*
DeleteJust don't give up.
ReplyDeleteNo payoff? You're probably writing because you enjoy it, which is a payoff. Just like there are other things you do in life because you enjoy them. Right?
You've got a point there. I do enjoy it.
DeleteThe only way to succeed and get better at anything is to persevere and never give up. You're a better writer today than you were a few years ago, so just think how much better you will be next year, especially if you keep reading and keep writing. You have a story to tell, heck I'm sure you have many to tell. Hang in there! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's true- no one is going to start a profession being the best at it without experience. I guess I forget that when it comes to writing!
DeleteOh! Yes. Life gets in the way. ;/ I really don't know what words of encouragement to give here. All j can say is that writing should always be enjoyed and that will be a good anchor.
ReplyDeleteWorried that you're just wasting time...yeah that sounds pretty familiar. It's not an easy job we've chosen, is it. Stay strong and keep writing, if for yourself only.
ReplyDeleteHappy ISWG Wednesday!
It's so hard, isn't it? Don't worry, we've all been there or *ahem* are still there! However, you're among friends.
ReplyDeleteI could probably show you the post I wrote just like this a year or so ago. It's all true. And hard to deal with. I wanted to quit, but my brain wouldn't let me. We may never be famous, but that's okay, too.
ReplyDeleteEmbrace it. Feed it. Don't give up. No matter what.
Keep moving forward.
Heather
If you don't enjoy the writing, it will show. Do what you can to find balance (many of us writers don't). Then enjoy the journey even if it is slow.
ReplyDeleteYou have children right? What would you say if your child showed joy and enthusiasm about playing music? It doesn't matter if they're the best at it, just that they seem to love it. Would you tell them that it's a waste of time? Would you say that they have to "justify" doing the thing that brings them joy? I'm guessing you wouldn't do that. So treat yourself as kindly as you would your children and take time to do something that is just for you. It's not selfish. You are teaching them that passion and drive are more important than financial success. That their dreams matter, even the modest ones. And that you don't get good at something without first kind-of sucking at it, and that's how it should be.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my all-time favorite quotes. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Good luck to you!
Holy crow! How did you get into my brain and write what I've been thinking?
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you what I tell myself, though since you've read my mind, you probably already know this, keep fighting the good fight, and don't let the bastards get you down!!
Thanks for your encouraging comments!
ReplyDeleteSince your blog post was written in correctly spelled, understandable English, and it held my interest and moved me, you have what it takes to succeed in your calling as a writer. Just keep on keeping on.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Nissa
I've felt that way, too. Sometimes I wondered if all the work was worth it. I finally honed my craft to the point a trusted CP said I was ready. I self-published and haven't regretted it for a moment.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you're ready and be honest about what you want, but don't limit yourself to only considering one route. ;)
IWSG #179 until Alex culls the list again.
Take heart Rose. You are not alone in these desires and wishes. Many of us in the IWSG share them. I can see from this post, that touched me deeply by the way, that you are a great writer. All the things you mentioned about your life (your commitments) are not to be taken lightly. They are huge and they require lots of time and attention. Just do what you can do. Make space for your writing. The rest will come in time.
ReplyDeleteHi Rose!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about you. When you have a few moments, come over to my blog. I have something for you.
Take care.
Writer In Transit
Happy New Year to you and your family, Rose!
ReplyDeleteHope you're well! *waving*