Friday, March 9, 2012

Tagged again- WIP excerpt

I was tagged back by this fellow blogger/writer, Ashley Nixon, and I'm really excited about it because I get to expose my WIP!  Thanks for the tag:)

The rules are:
1.  Go to page 77 of your WIP

2.  Go to line 7

3.  Copy the first 7 sentences or paragraphs exactly as they are written, no cheating.

4.  Tag 7 authors and let them know.

So here's my excerpt, and I went with the 7 paragraphs otherwise it wouldn't have made much sense:

....have the education to know to seek it for them, and we are not always aware of the need.”
Grabbing his stethoscope, we left the clinic together and walked to Anita's house.  I called out “Buenas tardes” to the open door, and to my surprise, a woman appeared with Anita close behind.  She was smiling, and welcomed us into the dark room.  I introduced myself and the doctor, but she already knew who I was from Anita.  She thanked me for helping with the baby.
“Gracias senorita,”  She said smiling self-consciously.  “It's difficult.  I have to work on the farm, and I can't take them with me.  The walk is difficult, very difficult.”
It was obvious she was uneducated, probably illiterate, as most of the farmers were.  It wasn't that she chose to be a bad mother, she just didn't know any other way to be.
Doctor Felipe looked the baby over and encouraged the mother to nurse her when she could, and I added that I had bought a special milk in powder that could be mixed with boiled or filtered water and given in a bottle.  Felipe decided that I should be in charge of giving the vitamins, to ensure the correct amount was given, and the mother agreed.  She seemed embarrassed but grateful that we were concerned about her children.  I asked her permission to take care of them in the afternoon when I was finished at the clinic, and she agreed without hesitation, thanking me profusely.
Over the next few weeks I watched Luisa begin to fatten up and become more lively.  When she would catch sight of me, she would begin to wave her arms and legs and babble at me.  We were filling a void in each other's life of love and affection.  I hadn't realized how much I was missing until Anita and Luisa came into my life.  My days were filled at the clinic with the same cold shoulder from Marta, but my nights came alive with the town's children.  But things were about to improve at the clinic for me as well.
Doctor Felipe had been approached by some men from a neighboring, remote village back off the main road by about forty-five minutes.  They requested that he come to see the people there once a week, and provided him with an old moped to make the trip a little easier.  Felipe had agreed, and decided that I would accompany him while Marta stayed behind to run the main clinic.  It was the best arrangement I could have hoped for, having the chance to assist him all on my own.    I had been trying hard to keep the peace, but I had to bite my tongue frequently with Marta ordering me around like I was a nursing assistant with less knowledge and experience than herself.  The truth was, she had never even gone to school for nursing, she had merely been placed in the position by her uncle, who was a government official.

--------------------------------------------------

So that's my WIP, raw and unedited.  I still have about half of the novel left to write, and since I'm a procrastinator, who knows when I'll be done!

Finally, I have to tag 7 authors:

Elise Fallson

Living a Dream

Medeia Sharif

Yvie Gonya

A Chronicle of Dreams

Charissa Weaks

Cassie Mae

And that's my post for the day!

14 comments:

  1. Very fun! Thanks for sharing, Honey! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I enjoyed reading what you have written. It all sounds fascinating! Thanks for tagging me and checking out my blog. I'm sad to say... I don't have a WIP - despite all of my good intentions! Well, my horse is a WIP, but he doesn't have pages. I have a few craft projects that are WIP's - but again, no pages! My house is a WIP and my garden will soon be a WIP. So... lots of WIP's - just not literary ones!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for your comments, and that's okay about the WIP, I wasn't sure who to pick because I've really just started blogging again the beginning of January. You're actually the exact kind of reader I want, so please keep hanging around:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for tagging me and thanks for sharing your WIP. You have a nice scene written and I'd love to read on so hurry up and finish it!
    Well, I can't believe you are going to "force" me to share my WIP.(; Just kidding. I'm actually glad you tagged me, I've been meaning to put excerpts of my WIP up, but have been putting it off (I'm a bit of a chicken). But no more excuses. I'll have part of page 77 up by tomorrow, hopefully (:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No problem! I'm glad it gave me a chance to post an excerpt too, especially after looking at this particular part I know I definitely want to rework it a bit. Looking forward to seeing what you have:)

      Delete
  5. "Over the next few weeks I watched Luisa begin to fatten up and become more lively. When she would catch sight of me, she would begin to wave her arms and legs and babble at me. We were filling a void in each other's life of love and affection. I hadn't realized how much I was missing until Anita and Luisa came into my life. My days were filled at the clinic with the same cold shoulder from Marta, but my nights came alive with the town's children. But things were about to improve at the clinic for me as well."

    Really loved this paragraph! The filling the void with love an affection, I have no idea what your whole story is, but this is really touching.

    And thanks for the tag! I'll be putting it up soon :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your positive feedback! I was hating this excerpt more and more every time I read it. I'm SO critical of my writing it'll be a miracle if I actually ever put this book out.

      My WIP is about a young nurse who volunteers in the rainforest. It will have a little bit of everything in it- danger, romance, sad, and happy.

      I'll be looking forward to reading yours soon!

      Delete
  6. Looks like there'll be more tension with Marta. Great piece.

    Thanks for tagging me. I bookmarked this page so I'll remember. :) I'll try to do it this week.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for sharing your writing, Honey!

    By the way, I just want to let you know you are yet tagged again, this time for 3 blogger awards!
    Go to http://readisthenewblack.blogspot.com/2012/03/i-won-some-awards.html for more info. I look forward to reading your fun facts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm so excited! I'll post on it tonight:)

      Delete
  8. Thanks for tagging me...
    I really liked your Wip, Interesting story with going to the rainforest being an adventurous trip.
    The only novel that is 40% complete is a I am rewriting from scratch...
    Maybe, just maybe I'll post something from that before the weekend, seven sentences I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome! And yes! go ahead and post what you have. I'll look forward to reading it:)

      Delete